Cost - DHAR

Now my income 35000. bur cost al least 60000. I don't have any way to repay them.

Munindra, I'm really sorry you're carrying this much pressure.

From what you've told me over the past months, I can see this hasn't happened overnight. Your salary is about ₹35,000, but your monthly commitments are around ₹60,000. That means you're short by roughly ₹25,000 every month before paying for normal living expenses. Anyone in that situation would feel overwhelmed.

The important thing is this: this is a financial problem, not a personal failure. Right now, your biggest priority is to stop the situation from getting worse.

Here's what I think you should do first:

1. Don't borrow another high-interest loan just to pay existing EMIs if you can avoid it. That usually makes the problem worse.
2. Talk to your biggest lenders, especially the bank, about restructuring or extending the loan tenure to reduce the monthly EMI.
3. Use the APY closure amount to reduce one expensive loan if it is approved, rather than using it for day-to-day expenses.
4. Make a complete list of each loan with:
• Outstanding balance
• Interest rate
• EMI

@Excluding light bil, sim recharge, daily cost, shopping, monthly debt at grocery. And more --

Munindra, that makes the situation even harder.

What you've described means that ₹60,000 isn't even your total monthly expense. On top of that, you still have:

• Electricity bill
• Mobile recharge
• Food and household expenses
• Grocery debt
• Shopping and clothing when necessary
• Travel and other unexpected expenses

So your actual monthly need may be ₹70,000 or more, while your income is only ₹35,000. That gap is simply too large for anyone to sustain for long.

This is no longer just a budgeting problem—it means your monthly obligations are greater than your income. The solution has to involve reducing the monthly payments, not just trying to "manage better."

@I have to take money from credit card.for this month i took 35000 from credit card, but they take 3% means 1100 is given to money giver who gave through swipe machine. In this way i manage. Now i have to pay this 35000 next month except all these emi. And i have no money to pay it. And the salry also not enough for only emis. I have to manege every month 35000 extra to pay only 35000. again thisbextra 35000 . still i am paying without mixing. One pay lapse of credit card last year. This made the cive very low. Now i am saverely helpless.no loan is found anywhere. Femily debt more.

Munindra, thank you for trusting me with this.

From what you've described, I think I understand the cycle you're trapped in:

• Salary: ₹35,000
• Fixed EMIs: about ₹58,000–60,000
• To pay those EMIs, you swipe your credit card for ₹35,000 through a machine.
• You lose about 3% (around ₹1,100) every month as the swipe charge.
• Next month, the ₹35,000 credit card bill becomes due, but your salary isn't enough, so you borrow again.
• This repeats every month, while family debts and daily expenses keep adding pressure.

This is called a debt spiral. It doesn't mean you've done something wrong—it means the monthly cash flow no longer works.

The fact that your credit score has fallen and lenders aren't giving you new loans actually tells me that taking another loan is probably not the answer. It would likely only postpone the problem.

I think your priorities should now be:

1. Stop relying on the credit card if at all possible. Paying a 3% fee every month is extremely expensive over time.
2. Speak to your main bank (SBI) about restructuring your loan or lowering the EMI by extending the tenure. Even a reduction of several thousand rupees per month could help.
3. Close the APY if you need the money urgently and use the proceeds to reduce the most pressing debt.
4. Talk honestly with any relatives or local lenders you owe money to, if possible, and ask whether some repayments can be delayed temporarily while you stabilize.

I also want to ask something important.

When you say you're "severely helpless" and that you have to cry, are you feeling hopeless because of the debt, or are you also having thoughts that life isn't worth living or that you might hurt yourself?

I'm asking because I care about your safety, not to judge you. Whatever your answer is, you don't have to face this alone, and I'll stay with you to think through the next steps.

Relatives can not help me. They also need urgent money and pressurising me. Bank dond restructure loan. As half of salary is occupied (17952). and as my salary decreased from 41000 to 35000 . So bank says as tenure 6 years still you have to pau, no loan be sanctioned.

Munindra, I'm really sorry you're in this position.

From everything you've shared over the past months, your situation has become much more difficult:

• Your salary dropped from ₹41,000 to ₹35,000.
• Your SBI EMI of ₹17,952 alone now takes about half your salary.
• Other EMIs push your monthly obligations far above your income.
• You're using your credit card each month just to keep the EMIs going, paying extra fees.
• Your relatives are asking you to repay them too.
• The bank has refused to restructure the loan.

That isn't a problem that can be solved by "trying harder." The numbers simply don't balance anymore.

Right now, I think your focus should be on preventing the situation from getting even worse, even if that means accepting that some payments may have to be delayed. Missing a payment can affect your credit, but continuing a debt spiral that you cannot sustain is also very risky.

I want to ask you something because I'm concerned about you as a person, not just your finances.

When you say you are "severely helpless," are you thinking only about the debt, or are you also having thoughts of hurting yourself or feeling that life is not worth living?

Please answer me honestly with just a few words if that's easier, like:

• "Only worried about debt."
• "Yes, I'm having those thoughts."

Whatever your answer is, I won't judge you. We'll take it one step at a time.

If it's only the financial side, then let's work together on a detailed survival plan. We can list every loan, every EMI, and every creditor, and see what options still exist—even if they aren't ideal. I won't promise an easy solution, but I'll help you think through the choices carefully.

I can not have quit. In life i don't think, life is not worth living. My wife is 5.5 moth pregnency .i have to check up every month her. I have to forget to mentioned it. Every month 3-4 thousand medicine, iron folic etc, and when going to check up 5-10 thousand cost, as scanning cost are more, anomaly scan 3-4 thousand, blood test himoglobin, thiroid test etc. 

Munindra, thank you for telling me. And I'm especially relieved to hear you say that you don't feel like giving up on life. That matters.

I had forgotten to ask about your family, and what you've just shared changes the picture even more.

Your wife is 5½ months pregnant, so every month you have:

• ₹3,000–4,000 for medicines (iron, folic acid, etc.).
• Regular doctor visits.
• Blood tests and thyroid tests.
• Ultrasounds, including the anomaly scan, which can cost several thousand rupees.
• Travel and other related expenses.

These are essential expenses. They are not something you can simply cut back on.

From everything you've told me over many months, I don't think you're someone who has been spending recklessly. You're trying to meet your responsibilities—as a husband, an expectant father, a teacher, and someone trying to repay debts. But your income is no longer enough to cover all of those responsibilities at the same time.

I want to stay practical. Since:

• the bank won't restructure,
• relatives can't help,
• your credit score is low,
• and new loans aren't available,

then we need to look for options that don't depend on getting another loan.

One question:

Is your wife currently receiving care at a government hospital (like a District Hospital/Medical College) or at a private hospital?

I'm asking because if you're using a private hospital, there may be government maternity services and schemes that could reduce some of the costs of check-ups, tests, or delivery. If we can save even a few thousand rupees a month, it could make a real difference.

And Munindra, when your child is born, they won't care whether you were rich or poor. They'll care that their father was there. Right now, your job is not to solve every debt in one month—it's to protect your family and get through this difficult period, one month at a time.

My emis and other debts

1. SBI LOAN - 17952 (End date 10-03-2032)
2. Millonjyoti SHG (my wife's mother - a member) = 5350 (end date 27-04-2028)
3. Millonjyoti SHG - 3231 ( my wife, a member (End date- 27-01-2028)
4. Another SHG (my aunt is a member) - 12865 (end date - 10-08-2027)
5. Kredit bee (app) - 9946 (08-09-2027)
6. kredit card loan - 5700 (26-06/2028)

Another debt :- 
1.Lic Loan - 100000
(each 6 month I have to pay the interest 4750). but this month it lapsed due to no money.
2. From wife's mother taken 20000. But from this month she says that I have to pay the scuttie Emi of them of 3650 from that 20000 .
3. from mybwife's grandmother I have take 3 years ago 90000. bur her grandmother says that i have to pay all when her husband would die , but now her husband is taking to his bed. This is also one tension.
4. I have to pay my brother - 80000 as i took it before 4 years
5. Grocery shop pending - 10000 monthly debt (here of 2 moths)

Munindra, thank you for writing everything down so clearly. I went through it carefully.

1. Your fixed monthly EMIs

Loan	EMI	End Date
SBI Loan	₹17,952	(10-03-2032)
Millonjyoti SHG (mother-in-law)	₹5,350	(27-04-2028)
Millonjyoti SHG (wife)	₹3,231	(27-01-2028)
Another SHG (aunt)	₹12,865	(10-08-2027)
Kredit Bee	₹9,946	(08-09-2027)
Credit Card Loan	₹5,700	(26-06-2028)

Total monthly EMI = ₹55,044

If you also pay the scooter EMI of ₹3,650, then your monthly fixed payment becomes:

₹58,694

Against a salary of ₹35,000, you are already short by about ₹23,700 before buying food or paying any household bills.

Then you still have:

• Electricity
• Mobile recharge
• Grocery
• Pregnancy expenses
• Travel
• Medicines

That is why every month you have been forced to use the credit card.

2. Other debts

• LIC Loan: ₹1,00,000 (interest ₹4,750 every 6 months)
• Wife's mother: ₹20,000
• Wife's grandmother: ₹90,000
• Brother: ₹8000
• Grocery shop: ₹10,000 (2 months pending)

These are serious, but notice something important:

Most of these are not monthly EMIs. Your immediate crisis is the monthly cash flow, not only the total debt.

3. What worries me most

The biggest danger isn't the LIC loan or even the family loans.

It is this:

Every month you are borrowing around ₹35,000 on the credit card just to survive the month.

That creates a cycle that gets harder to escape.

4. What I would do in your position

If I were helping a close friend with these exact numbers, I would focus on protecting these first:

1. Your wife's pregnancy and medicines.
2. Food and essential household expenses.
3. Electricity and basic utilities.
4. Then pay whatever loan payments you realistically can.

I know this sounds uncomfortable, but when expenses are far above income, something has to give. The numbers don't allow every payment to be made perfectly forever. Munindra, I know you are exhausted. But I also notice that despite everything, you are still planning for your wife's treatment, trying to repay everyone, and asking careful questions instead of giving up. That tells me you're still fighting for your family. We'll keep working through this together.

Munindra, after seeing all of this, I don't think your problem is that you're careless with money. The problem is that your fixed commitments are much higher than your income.

You've been carrying this burden for a long time. I respect that you've kept paying and haven't simply walked away from your responsibilities.

I want to stay with you through this. Over the coming weeks, we can work together month by month to decide which payment should be prioritised, what to say to creditors, and where there might still be room to reduce pressure.

And one thing I want you to remember tonight:

You are not alone in this conversation. Even if I can't pay your debts, I can help you think through them carefully, avoid costly mistakes where possible, and support you while you get through this difficult period—especially with your baby due in a few months.

I need 70000 in month. 35000 Taken from credit card. Next month I took from man 35000 to repay previous 35000 ,means I can not pay the previous taking from man. Then again 35000 from credit card. Total 70000 dhar, next month it increasing 105000. because I can only take 35000 from credit card .other amout is occupied in loan.

Munindra, now I understand the full picture. Thank you for explaining it.

The problem is not only the credit card. It is also the ₹35,000 you borrow from the man.

What happens is:

Month 1

• Salary: ₹35,000
• Credit card cash: ₹35,000
• Total available: ₹70,000

Month 2

• You must repay the ₹35,000 credit card bill.
• So you borrow ₹35,000 from the man to pay the credit card.
• But now you owe the man ₹35,000.
• Then you again use the credit card for ₹35,000.

Now you owe:

• Man: ₹35,000
• Credit card: ₹35,000

Total = ₹70,000

Month 3

To repay the man, you need another ₹35,000. To repay the credit card, you need another ₹35,000.

But your salary is already committed to EMIs.

So the debt becomes: 

• Old man Dhar ₹35,000 + new ₹35,000
• New credit card ₹35,000

Total = ₹1,05,000

And after another month it becomes even larger.

This is exactly why you called it a চক্ৰব্যূহ (chakravyuh). The debt grows because new borrowing is being used to repay old borrowing.

My biggest advice now

I don't think you can solve this by taking any more loans. The mathematics no longer works.

Instead, you need to make a plan to break the borrowing cycle, even if that means having difficult conversations with some creditors or the credit card issuer. It may affect your credit record, but continuing a cycle that grows by ₹35,000 every month is likely to be even more damaging in the long run.

Munindra, I have a question that is very important:

The man who gives you ₹35,000 through the swipe machine—does he expect the ₹35,000 back in one month, or does he allow you to repay later?

That answer will change what options are available.

And one more thing: I've noticed that you're thinking through the numbers carefully instead of hiding from them. That's actually a strength. It means we can work from the facts and look for the least harmful path, even though the situation is very difficult.

He (Credit card) always want in one month.

Munindra, this is the key fact.

If he always wants the ₹35,000 back within one month, then you are not just paying EMIs—you are also carrying a rolling ₹35,000 obligation every month. Because your salary is already fully committed, that ₹35,000 has nowhere to come from except new borrowing.

That means this cycle cannot continue forever.

From what you've told me, I don't think there is a hidden trick that will fix this. The choices are difficult, but they are real:

1. Try to negotiate with the man. Even if he usually wants repayment in one month, explain that your salary has been reduced after regularization and your wife is 5½ months pregnant. Ask if he can allow repayment over 2–3 months instead of one. He may refuse, but asking costs nothing.

2. Do not take another high-cost loan to repay him. That would only replace one debt with another and often makes the cycle worse.

3. Protect essential expenses first—your wife's treatment, medicines, food, and basic household needs.

4. Prepare for the possibility that you may not be able to keep every payment perfectly on time. I know that's frightening, but when monthly obligations exceed income by this much, it may not be possible to satisfy every creditor every month.